MLK: the second first day of the year
New years resolutions: Not a thing to be done properly this year. A series of objectives (which are, in fact, a series of inverse complaints -- but at least they're not complaints). I am fulfilling one of them now by doing this.
Objective: Write regularly, if solely to keep track of yourself and keep all the squiggly odds and ends more or less together.
Rationale: Last year felt like falling apart -- like dissolution, which can be expansive, but which is also terrible and terrifying and lonely. Writing has, historically, been a way to glue the dislocated bits and pieces strewn haphazardly through time and often lost forever when my mind isn't strong enough to keep them all in line.
Objective: Run regularly. A little bit of exercise most days, even if it's just a mile.
Rationale: It has (historically) been a very important part of self-esteem and routine-maintenance. I can rescue a whole day's feelings with one good run and stretch. Also, it is good cardio, and I don't like being fat.
Objective: Keep up with your school work.
Rationale: It will make studying for tests a lot less painful. Also, your Step scores probably depend on it, and your career pretty much depends on your Step scores, so.
Objective: Eat healthy.
Rationale: It is a good way to guard the feelings and the bowel movements, and also I don't like being fat.
Objective: Daily prayer, even if it's just morning, even it it's just reading Magnificat.
Rationale: It is a good way to keep my soul more or less intact and body-bound. It is really good for my relationship with God (and thereby with the universe, my neighbor, myself). It is a crucially important aspect of keeping it together.
That's it really. Oh, maybe floss and sunblock. And if you can, it might be good to volunteer once a month or so -- something simple or something that plays to your strengths. Don't be a hero.
In years past, I would feel tempted to include things here like: Write to people regularly. Get straight honors. Do a bajillion practice questions a day. Throw a dozen elaborate dinners. Pick up guitar again. Lose 15 lbs. Maintain a weight of 135-137. Run every day. Run a marathon and a half. Learn to code. Read a poem a day, a novel a week. Fix your family. Love everyone. Be a hero.
Those things I will do as I wish to, without any sense of urgency. For now, it feels like I have the things I need more or less together. I have friends. I own many clothes that I like. I know where to buy the decentest food in Long Island. I have a doable running route mapped out, and I have proper running attire. I have a bed, a place for my books, and a really nice desk. I have a car with great mileage, and a nice boyfriend (even though that can be hard [to remember/to have] when I want to dissociate). I have a place to work and a some space to think.
Objective: Write regularly, if solely to keep track of yourself and keep all the squiggly odds and ends more or less together.
Rationale: Last year felt like falling apart -- like dissolution, which can be expansive, but which is also terrible and terrifying and lonely. Writing has, historically, been a way to glue the dislocated bits and pieces strewn haphazardly through time and often lost forever when my mind isn't strong enough to keep them all in line.
Objective: Run regularly. A little bit of exercise most days, even if it's just a mile.
Rationale: It has (historically) been a very important part of self-esteem and routine-maintenance. I can rescue a whole day's feelings with one good run and stretch. Also, it is good cardio, and I don't like being fat.
Objective: Keep up with your school work.
Rationale: It will make studying for tests a lot less painful. Also, your Step scores probably depend on it, and your career pretty much depends on your Step scores, so.
Objective: Eat healthy.
Rationale: It is a good way to guard the feelings and the bowel movements, and also I don't like being fat.
Objective: Daily prayer, even if it's just morning, even it it's just reading Magnificat.
Rationale: It is a good way to keep my soul more or less intact and body-bound. It is really good for my relationship with God (and thereby with the universe, my neighbor, myself). It is a crucially important aspect of keeping it together.
That's it really. Oh, maybe floss and sunblock. And if you can, it might be good to volunteer once a month or so -- something simple or something that plays to your strengths. Don't be a hero.
In years past, I would feel tempted to include things here like: Write to people regularly. Get straight honors. Do a bajillion practice questions a day. Throw a dozen elaborate dinners. Pick up guitar again. Lose 15 lbs. Maintain a weight of 135-137. Run every day. Run a marathon and a half. Learn to code. Read a poem a day, a novel a week. Fix your family. Love everyone. Be a hero.
Those things I will do as I wish to, without any sense of urgency. For now, it feels like I have the things I need more or less together. I have friends. I own many clothes that I like. I know where to buy the decentest food in Long Island. I have a doable running route mapped out, and I have proper running attire. I have a bed, a place for my books, and a really nice desk. I have a car with great mileage, and a nice boyfriend (even though that can be hard [to remember/to have] when I want to dissociate). I have a place to work and a some space to think.
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